I Am Boycotting Mosques, Crystal Meth, Anal Sex & 3rd Round FA Cup Ties vs Swansea

Yes I have considered it for quite some time and I am not only going to boycott the glamorous, exciting 3rd round FA Cup tie against Swansea, but I am also boycotting crystal meth, mosques (all forms of religious buildings, touch wood), sweetcorn, jus (southerner’s posh version of gravy – its shite), potential Christmas number one singles and anal sex – unless it is someone like Bianca Suarez for whom I would allow a little finger up my bum.


Yo quiero eso “niña proxima vecino” mira de España.  Innocent but absolutely fucking no innocenté por favor ja ja ja senorita.

Erm.  Hang on, let me go pour another masculine glass of rose wine.

This is my football blog, isn’t it?

Right.  So I have decided that I am going to boycott a game that I wouldn’t dream of going to anyway, and that one assumes most people wouldn’t have gone to either.

So what is the point of the boycott?

We would have struggled to have get 10,000 without a boycott.  Last season we managed 10,706.  2012-13 we only got 8,585.  2011-12 we got 10,246.

Unless we get something stupidly low like 3,000 through the door, the Allams can claim victory.

And I wouldn’t put it past them to offer some kind of deal, say £5 tickets, or maybe £1 tickets for kids – something to entice those that maybe are not so effusive with the vague plan of anti-Allam action.

I hope it works.  I dearly do.  But for some reason I am cynical.  Why on earth would a Hull City AFC fan be cynical?

Got to wrap this up, I think Blanca is coming round for dinner.  After my crystal meth dealer.



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