QPR 1 – 2 Hull City AFC

It might have been weeks ago – hell, it was last decade, but I took some notes so I’m going to bash out a match report. Of sorts.

And who the hell wants to read about the most recent game anyway?

QPR away was my first away game since watching us confirm relegation from the Premier League at Crystal Palace. The glimmers of a brighter future at the club from the end of October made me glance at the fixtures to see what away games were available to an exiled Hull City AFC fan living in London.

Charlton away on the Friday night sounded fun – alas it was sandwiched between two Christmas parties and anyone over the age of 30, as I am, will understand how ruinous 3 nights out in a row can be. QPR away, on the Sunday after Christmas was much more realistic.

Though after going to my first home game of the season on Boxing Day – both myself and my sister regretted out purchase. Whilst having a pre-game roast dinner, I did consider to myself the possibility of just staying in the pub. Paying £6.65 for a pint. Yeah, even I baulked and I am used to £6 pints.

Yeah don’t get me started on roast dinners down here either.

After a short Bolt with a friendly Sporting Lisbon-supporting driver, we took a walk through the NW London version of Gipsyville, dans Japanese Gardens and arrived at quite a gloriously old school stadium bathed in bright sunshine – a compact beauty of a ground. Quite perfectly rectangular…ahhh Fer Ark.

The club seemed quite friendly too – stewards were a laugh and the bar staff understood my northerness in serving me a half pint in a pint glass. Oh to be able to drink in the stand too.

I was fearing both a 3-0 defeat before the game, and also sitting near the more rowdy types – I am far too old and boring to cope. That wasn’t the case, and we even had space either side to stretch our legs.

Not much happened at the beginning to suggest either team could score – the only entertainment was between the rowdy lot and the QPR fan in the oversized sombrero, “you’re just a shit Jimmy Savile” being the height of our linguistic capabilities.

By 17 minutes I noted that I hadn’t made any notes. We serenaded the opposition with the library song, which I found most ironic given the one solitary chant managed by City fans on Boxing Day.

On 19 minutes QPR had their first corner – well, unless I’d missed something by being distracted by Sombrero Man – this coming after our own lack of passing capability.

Then the goal. A decent shot from just outside the area by Ilias Chair, creeping in to Long’s right just inside the post. 1-0 to QPR. Couldn’t really argue.


22 minutes saw them nearly score a second – was a bit of a lucky block – I forget who by as it was 3 weeks ago and my notes are pretty crap. I did note Irvine bad pass again.

On 25 minutes someone blasted over the bar from a tight angle. I cannot tell you which team, let alone which player. Sombrero Man was having a good afternoon though.

Thinking about it, it was possibly Bowler – a player who I was yet to see evidence of much of an end product, my notes state “Bowler never does anything”.

On 32 minutes, a weak cross from Bowler was dropped by the keep and Honeyman stabbed it into the net. 1-1. Pretty undeserved but we had started to play a bit. A semi-assist from the player who “never does anything”.

The rest of the half saw a good shot from Bowler (never does anything…erm…), and a couple of good chances for QPR – once shot over, decent shot too, and on 42 minutes they somehow missed a relative sitter.

Time for a half pint of cider (no way is Carlsberg piss going down my neck…don’t you know I live in London, mate) and a piss piss, before the second half kicked off and we immediately knocked it out of play. Joy.

QPR were fairly dangerous during the first part of the second half, some nice play with half-chances not taken. On 53 minutes they shot wide and on 60 minutes they shot wide again.

Little from us.

Eaves was brought on for Grosicki to what sounded like a small section of our own fans booing – I hope I am mistaken. And he nearly scored from a header straight away. Eeeeeeeaves.

Irvine wasn’t impressing much to the point that my sister said she’d eat her own shit if he scored.

Although the momentum swung away from QPR as the second half went on, they still looked the more likely to get the second. On 78 minutes Long made a good save from a corner and on 81 minutes the ball was fizzed diagonally across the box – and they should have put it in. It could very easily have been us who accidentally knocked it in.

Then on 88 minutes, a looping cross from a free-kick came in, and Irvine stretched out as the last man to put the ball in the net.

Absolute theft. Yeah I’d be soaked with beer at this point if alcohol was allowed in the stand.

And that was how it finished. 2-1 to Hull City AFC.

Even before my mini-splurge of watching City games, I’d concluded that we were utterly inconsistent, and again proved so.

I haven’t had any particular new insight into City, I don’t have a new favourite player and I am not yet convinced by McCann – though I don’t especially question him either.

I have enjoyed going – I think my next game will be home against Charlton in the middle of March – the next time I am in Hull. No more London away games left and I don’t see me having the time and inclination for any of the other away games before the end of the season.

And no, thankfully she didn’t keep her promise.

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