I was going to write about my morbid experience at the game on Sunday, but decided against writing such a depressing post, and write about our wonderful owners instead.
Firstly, I’d like to thank Dean Windass for getting me an internship at the club. I am truly excited that our progressive, modern owners have seen my writing talents, and have given me the opportunity to elaborate upon the great work that they do for the football club, the fans, the game and the whole city of Hull. It is a real shame that they have not been invited to the Syrian peace talks, as I feel that they could have made a real breakthrough there.
Sunday was depressing to see that the vast investment that the Allams had put into the club this season was not rewarded. The performance on Sunday was dreadful, and is clearly all Marco Silva’s fault.
But I don’t want to write about it. I had started writing about it, but it was bad enough writing about my absolutely dreadful roast dinner in a place called Balham (ooh it rhymes with Allam). If you want to read about roast dinners in London, and my ramblings about lesbians and socialists, then there is a blog for that.
This post on this blog, is going to concentrate on the wise, financial management of Hull City Tigers.
You will note that the financial report for the 2016 year is for Allamhouse Ltd, a sensible way of ensuring that if the football side goes badly, there can be funds transferred across from one of the other companies to cover the loss. As it was, the Allam’s exceptional management of the business side of the football club, led to gross profits being close to a whopping £30m.
Out of this, they only paid £6m in dividends to themselves, which is clearly well-deserved for running a profitable, successful football club, now well-admired by the whole fanbase, as Dean Windass will also confirm.
£6m is quite a paltry sum – you would struggle to get a decent apartment in London for that, and the size of yacht that you could get would be miniscule – with threadbare staff. The Allams have clearly shown restraint in only taking a £6m dividend.
One would expect them to take a more reasonable dividend during 2017, of say £10m to £15m, though this is clearly only conjecture.
They also repaid £17.5m of loans that they kindly gave to the football club, and only charged 4% interest – after all, it is their gift to the city. £437,819 is practically zero return in terms of investment, and all of us fans should be thankful that they lent the football club that money to get into the Premier League, so they could make a large gross profit and pay themselves a dividend of only £6m, whilst only charging 4% interest.
£100,000 was wisely invested in the Labour Party leadership campaign, though sadly that Owen bloke was not willing to play up front.
Sizable donations were also made to other charitable organisations, including two medical donations that approach £3m when combined – which some might argue would have paid for a proper right-back – but the Allams know better.
One should stress that this is specifically the accounts for Allamhouse Ltd, as opposed to Hull City Tigers Ltd, however it seems to me a good summary of the excellent work that the Allams are doing in ensuring Hull City Tigers flourish as a football club, both on and off the field, with full support from the fans for the way that they are running the club.
On behalf of ALL Hull City Tigers fans, as we all think exactly the same, I would like to thank the Allams for the generosity of the gift to the people of Hull. I look forward to many more years of their delightful dictatorship.
Their level of football knowledge is impeccable, proven again recently with the appointment of Marco Silva – just a shame he let the Allams down so badly at the end. One assumes that Ehab will rightly give Silva the boot.
Hopefully it won’t be too long before they can implement the £5 tickets that were long ago promised.
With a bit of luck, some more wars will break out across the Middle East so that the Allams can sell more marine generators. Maybe we’ll even get that name change through so we can be the biggest club in Nepal.